Avocado is not a proper safe word
by ShiTiger
Summary: The title says it all. Honestly, it's more silly than smutty. Enjoy!
1. The Companion

**Chapter 1: The Companion**

The little olive-skinned creature was waiting for him when he entered the room. His petite form was clothed in nothing more than a white robe that tied at the front.

"Do you know why you're here, little one?" the human asked, towering over the smaller figure sitting on the bed.

"I'm… to be your companion," the Greytrexian whispered, his voice trembling slightly.

"Yes," the Lord Dictator purred, kneeling on the bed and reaching out a hand to stroke the other man's olive skin. "Your planet now belongs to Earth, and you, my little one, belong to me. But I am a patient master. Do as I command, and I will shower you with riches."

"I just… I just want to go home," the alien said, his chest heaving as he struggled to hold in a sob.

"You are home, my pretty," the human insisted, sealing his lips against the other man's own. One of his hands held the Greytrexian's waist, while the other trailed over his arm, enjoying the feel of his smooth green skin.

Pulling back, the Lord Dictator loosened the cloth belt around the pudgy alien's middle, even as his fingers slipped the robe open to reveal his adorable little body. "I'm going to enjoy getting to know you, my pretty little companion."

"I've never… been with someone your size before," the alien admitted, his face flushing pink.

"I'll be gentle," the human promised. He leaned forward, but froze when there was a knock on his chamber door.

"Daddy?"

" **Avocado** ," Jack hissed, pushing at his husband's chest.

"Cock-blocked by my own kid," John grumbled, pulling the sheets over his raging hard-on, even as Jack tied the front of his robe tightly, and made his way to the door.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" the Greytrexian asked, smiling patiently down at the little boy in the doorway.

"I had a bad dream. Can I sleep with you guys tonight?" Gary asked, rubbing the tears from his blue eyes.

John gave a groan of annoyance, causing Jack to shoot him a fierce look over his shoulder. The larger man had the decency to look ashamed as his initial reaction. "Sure, Gary. But let's go get a drink of water first. Your father needs time to **compose** himself," the Greytrexian said, leading their son down to the kitchen.

"A cold shower is what I'm going to need," John grumbled, trudging down the hall to just that.

* * *

"All tucked in. Your father and I will make sure that nothing can harm you," Jack said, pressing a kiss to his son's forehead.

"Why are you all wet, daddy?" the little boy asked, his eyes darting to the doorway.

"I, uh, had a shower," John admitted, toweling his hair dry. When he reached the bed, he slid in on Gary's other side, leaving the boy snuggled between them.

"Goodnight, Gary. Goodnight, John," Jack said, turning off the light on his side of the bed.

"Goodnight, daddies!"

"Goodnight, Gary… Jack. Love you both."

"Love you too, John."

"I love you both sooooo much! Like a lots! Like bunches and bunches…"

"Okay, Gary. Thank you. Time for bed now."


	2. A Fine Specimen

**A Fine Specimen**

"How does it feel to have your entire race enslaved by people half your size, human? Knowing we can bend you to our will at any time?" the petite warlord stated, walking around the kneeling form of his newest slave.

The broad-shoulder man glared up at him from under a curtain of messy brown and grey hair. His arms were cuffed roughly behind his back; he still wore his teal Infinity Guard pants, but his shirt had long since been removed. Such lovely muscles this new slave had.

"I'll never submit," the captain hissed, his eyes shooting daggers at the Greytrexian.

"I assure you, I can be very persuasive. A few words, a light touch," the warlord purred into the man's ear, his fingers tracing down the human's firm chest. "I will make you scream my name before the night is through. You'll be begging me to keep you."

"Never!" the human snarled, struggling against his bonds. There was a sudden SNAP, and the cuffs broke apart, causing the pair to freeze. "Well now, this is an interesting development. The slave escapes his shackles and takes advantage of his ruthless, but adorably cute master," John announced, grabbing his husband by the waist and tossing him lightly onto the bed. Crawling over him, he slid down the zipper on the Greytrexian's indigo robe, and began to press kisses to his green neck.

"John, you're breaking character," Jack stated, failing to hold in a laugh. "You didn't even say 'Avocado.'"

"Maybe I don't WANT to say it. Not when I have a deliciously evil Lord Commander at my mercy," John purred. Their roleplay dissolved into frantic, passionate lovemaking from that point on.


	3. Meeting the Boyfriend

**Meeting the Boyfriend**

"Gary, you're home from the academy early!" Jack said, smiling up at his son who was standing in the doorway.

The blonde bent down to engulf the shorter man in a tight hug. "I missed you, pops."

"I missed you, too," said Jack. "And who is this handsome gentleman?" he asked, looking past his son. There was a blue-furred Ventrexian coming up the walkway with several bags in his arms.

"Hello, sir. I'm…"

"This super hottie is my boyfriend!" Gary blurted out, interrupting the feline. The young man in question blushed at his words.

"Is he now?" Jack mused, chuckling at his son's enthusiasm.

"As I was saying… Hello, sir. I'm Avocato," the Ventrexian said, extending a paw toward him.

Jack suddenly found himself coughing, his cheeks starting to burn pink from embarrassment.

"What wrong?" Gary asked.

"Nothing. It's nothing. Just a bit of dust in my throat, is all," Jack lied. "Lovely to meet you, Avocato. Just call me 'Jack.' None of that _sir_ stuff. Now, we weren't expecting you home until tomorrow, but your father just had to start up the grill," the Greytrexian said, rolling his eyes. Honestly, what was with human men and grills? John hated cooking indoors during the summer, even if it was cloudy.

"I can't wait. I haven't had Dad's cooking in a long time," Gary said. The young men followed the pilot into the house.

* * *

"Jack, who was at the door?" John asked, wiping his hands on a dish towel that was tucked into his blue 'Kiss the Captain' apron. His dark eyes lit up at the sight of his son stepping onto the patio. "Gary! Come give your old man a hug!"

"Dad!" The young man was quick to cross the deck and wrap his arms around his father's waist. The pair embraced for a long moment, then Gary pulled away. The captain glanced back toward the door, only to raise an eyebrow at the blue-furred alien stepping onto the porch. "And who is this strapping young man with you?" John asked, a smile curving over his lips.

The Ventrexian was quick to step forward, and extend his hand. "Nice to meet you, Captain Goodspeed. My name is Avocato."

John's grip suddenly tightened, his eyes widening at the young man's name. "Ah, sorry," he said, recovering quickly. Shooting a quick glance at his petite husband, he returned his attention to the boys in time to hear Gary to say, "He's my boyfriend!"

"Good to meet you, son. Be good to my darling boy here, and I won't have to hunt you down," John warned, putting a hand on his only child's shoulder. "

"Dad!" Gary groaned, rolling his eyes.

"All right. All right," John laughed. "How would you like your steak, boys?"

"Raw and soaked in blood!" the blonde exclaimed, posing dramatically.

"Uh huh. Medium rare, it is," the captain stated.

"The same for me, sir," Avocato added.

"Your boyfriend is very polite," John informed his son as he turned back to the grill. "You could learn something from him."

"Nah. Not my style," Gary insisted, flopping into one of the deck chairs. The Ventrexian took a seat next to him, reaching out to twine their fingers together under the table.

"I made a salad, and some iced tea," Jack announced, returning from his short trip to the kitchen.

"It looks great, Mr. Jack," Avocato said, enthusiastically.

"Mr. Jack? I can live with that. But only until we get to know each other a bit more," the Greytrexian said, amused.

"Hey, that's not fair. You have to call me 'Mr. John,' and quit the _sir_ stuff," the captain stated, pouting over his shoulder.

"See," said Gary, nudging his boyfriend. "They do like you."

John glanced over his shoulder in time to catch the pair sneaking a kiss, and could only smile to himself.

"So, Gary's training to be a pilot. What are you training for, Avocato?" Jack asked, taking a on the other side of the table.

"Actually, I joined the Academy to eventually become a Captain," Avocato told him.

"Really? Well, if you need any pointers, I'd be happy to help," John asserted.

"Thank you, sir. I mean, Mr. John," the young man said, clasping Gary's hand under the table again.

"Awww… you two are so cute!" Jack said, clapping his hands. "John, our grandchildren are going to be adorable!"

Three sets of eyes widened at the announcement. "I'm pretty sure they're both boys, Jack," the captain said, setting the steaks on the table.

"They can adopt," Jack argued back, humming Gary's favorite lullaby as a child.

"Pops, please, we haven't even been dating that long," the blonde groaned, sneaking a side-glance at his, thankfully, amused boyfriend.

"So, tell us how you met," the Greytrexian insisted, letting the subject of grandchildren drop — for now.

"Funny story, actually," Avocato laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. The rest of the evening was filled with family bonding and laughter.

* * *

 _ **(Bonus)**_

"Darn it. What other kind of vegetable does Gary not like to eat," John groaned, throwing his hands into the air.

"Avocados are fruits, dear. Berries, actually. Hm… he likes my pumpkin pie, and your green bean stew," Jack said, counting on his fingers.

"Wait, pumpkins and beans are fruits? Since when?" the captain asked, raising an eyebrow at his husband.

"Since forever. What about kiwi? I don't think Gary likes kiwi much," the pilot said.

"Alright. Kiwi it is. Do you think we'll remember it?"

"I hope so."

* * *

Note: Darn it, boys! This was supposed to be a quick story.


	4. Surprise!

**Surprise!**

"I don't think my dads are home. And I'm pretty sure the doorbell is broken. Good thing I know how to find the spare ke… Oh my god!" Gary stared in horror at the entwined figures making out on the couch. Slapping his hands over his eyes, he resisted the urge to scream from the soul-crushing mental anguishof seeing his parents attempting to disrobe each other.

A single golden eyes opened, glancing at them over the captain's barely-clothed shoulder. "John, kiwi. KIWI!"

"I don't want a kiwi," the taller man said, dragging his lover in for another kiss.

When he was finally able to pull away, Jack hissed, "No, John. I mean — AVOCADO!"

The captain froze, his head turning slowly to see what his husband was staring at. "Oh, you're home early."

"We should really go back to the car. You know, until they're ready for visitors," Avocato suggested, his face aflame.

"Wait… are you two…" Gary glanced back and forth between his parents, his brain tingling with a rather concerning thought. "Is _'Avocato'_ your safe word? Why do people your age _even have_ a safe word?"

"We're not THAT old," Jack snarked back, pouting.

"We like to get a little rough sometimes," John said, sitting up to let his lover straighten his robes.

"Oh, no. Noooo, I am not wanting to hear about this. Ewwww! Come on, Avocato," Gary insisted, grabbing his boyfriend by the arm to attempt to drag him out of the room.

"Gary, careful," the Ventrexian warned, pulling back to reposition the little green bundle of blankets in his arms.

"And we were saying 'AvocaDo…' Wait! What is that in your arms?" Jack was immediately on his feet, shuffling toward them.

"I, um, well, Mr. Jack… this is my son, little Cato," Avocato finally said, kneeling down to give the Greytrexian a better look. Gently, he swept the blankets away from the little one's face to reveal orange and white fur.

"So tiny! He reminds me of Gary," Jack whispered loudly, his fingers itching to hold the child.

"I do not remember being that furry," Gary argued half-heartedly.

"You had a full head of hair when your mother dropped you off. And these big blue eyes. Granted, your eyes have darkened to be like your father's, but you did have blue eyes as a baby," the Greytrexian told him.

"Would you like to hold him, Mr. Jack?" Avocato asked.

Staring up at the Ventrexian with his wide golden eyes, Jack whispered, "More than anything!"

"Okay then." The captain-in-training settled his son into the little man's waiting arms. Immediately, Jack leaned over the child, his gaze filled with awe and wonder as a tiny 'mew!' came from the bundle.

"His name is little Cato," Gary said, smiling at the scene.

"Now, Jack. Careful not to get too attached. Gary and Avocato are still dating, after all…" John trailed off as his husband spun around with a huge smile on his little green face.

"We have a grandhatchling! He's so adorable!" the Greytrexian insisted, rocking the child gently in his arms.

"Again, we're not actually married yet," Gary piped up, but he doubted his pops was listening. No, wait, he was listening. He just didn't care.

"Too late, I claimed him. You have no choice but to wed," Jack told him, snuggling the kitten close. The little one mewled up at him again, his golden eyes blinking as he slowly woke up.

"Look at his tiny ears! And his soft orange fur. He really is as cute as Gary was when he was a baby. Not as wrinkly though," the Greytrexian mused.

"You're embarrassing me," Gary groaned, leaning against his boyfriend who was now standing next to him. The Ventrexian just chuckled at the banter.

"I'm your pop. That's my job," Jack insisted, shuffling closer to John, so that his husband could get a better look.

"Awww… he's precious. I'm afraid Jack is right, son. We're keeping him, so you'll just have to marry that strapping young man of yours," the captain said, amused.

"Dad!"

* * *

 _ **(Bonus)**_

"So, we can all agree to never mention the safe word again, right?" Gary suddenly said, causing the conversations around the table to end abruptly.

"I can't wait until you two get married, and start wanting a little us-time," Jack drawled. "Then you'll be begging us to babysit. And, who knows, you might decide on a little safe word of your own."

"Gross, no! Safewords are for people that like to role play. Avocato is already a sexy cat man, what else could I want?" the blonde insisted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Gary." Avocato knew he was blushing under his fur again.

"I mean, I suppose Avocato could pretend to be an evil general. Ooh, I could make a slave robe look good," Gary realized, tapping his chin.

"Too much information," John groaned, wincing.

"Or he could be a motorcycle-riding gang lord! Or a sexy college professor with sexy glasses. Or a super villain in a cool cape! Ooooh, or I could be the super villain, and he could be my totally hot superman-guy," the blonde said, turning to grin at his boyfriend.

"Gary, stop talking about our intimate life with your parents in the room," Avocato grumbled, tossing a quick glance at his son who was sleeping in the carrier at his feet.

"Great idea," John agreed.

"Now, now, John. It's important that Gary knows that we support his life choices. And safe words are healthy to have in a sexual relationship," Jack argued gently, with a scholarly grace.

"Little Cato could overhear," John said, looking for a way out of the conversation.

"He's just a hatchling, John. He doesn't understand," Jack sighed, rolling his eyes.

"So, how about that football game, Mr. John?" Avocato said, interrupting their conversation.

"Thank you," John mouthed at him, before launching into a comparison between the two teams. The Ventrexian was quick to join in, leaving the other conversation be buried under football terminology.

* * *

"Come back soon, boys," Jack called, waving as the car began to pull out of the driveway.

"But remember to KNOCK next time," John warned them, receiving a wave from the boys as they began to drive away.

"I can't wait to spoil little Cato rotten," Jack sighed, following his husband back into the house.

* * *

Note: And that's it. A bit longer than expected, but I couldn't let go of this story idea once it popped into my head. Feel free to play around with Gary and Avocato's role playing, if you'd like. I can't see myself writing an intimate fic about them, even if they ARE an adorable couple.


End file.
